Reverse Culture Shock: What's that about?!
Living abroad has brought many an unexpected challenge along with it. However, one I did not see coming (nor did I even know existed) was reverse culture shock.
What is reverse culture shock, I hear you say? Why, I'm glad you asked.
"Reverse culture shock is the emotional and psychological distress suffered by some people when they return home after a number of years overseas."
Well, alrighty then. Sounds like a barrel of laughs.
Disclaimer, these types of things are, of course, suffered in degrees and by no means do I think I've experienced the worst of it.
Two weeks ago I returned to evergreen (*read: always raining*) England from sun-drenched Spain. I was feeling mixed emotions when I first arrived...conflicted by already missing Madrid...but being happy to be home...but also knowing it would be tough to leave when I go back...and at the same time panicking about who I am here now. Yes, some may call me melodramatic. I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS.
It's kind of overwhelming coming back to a place where you don't really have a life anymore. In my case, I moved (back) to Spain almost straight after graduating from university, and so the only life I've known here is in the role of a student. And so now, coming back as a (semi-)adult, it's somewhat confusing to know one's place.
Building a life in another country takes a lot of time and effort: adapting to a different culture, making new friends, settling into a job etc. And so coming home for an extended period of time can be discombobulating, you're basically jumping from one life to a whole different one - one that has been on pause since the last time you were home.
In this way, you find yourself trying to slot a new version of yourself into your old life while the lives of everyone around you have carried on without you. Suddenly all your friends are in new jobs/getting engaged/having babies (ok not quite that last one yet - but come on, friends, someone take one for the team so the rest of us have a baby to play with for five minutes before handing them back to you when they start crying, yeah? Ok. Cool.)
What I'm trying to say is the inside of my mind looks like that meme of the confused woman surrounded by maths equations.
So, how do we stop ourselves dwelling on trivial things like "who we are" and "what we're doing with our lives" and try to make the most of our time at home?
Making plans is a big help in overcoming that initial reverse culture shock feeling. I'm only here for a month so it's not like I'm looking to start a proper life here, but it is important to keep some sort of routine/purpose. I'm in the midst of seeing as many of my friends and family as I can. I think it's so important to invest in these relationships that I've grown up with, and not let them fall by the wayside just because I no longer live in the same country. Plus, getting out of the house and organising fun things to do will no doubt improve your mood!
Take advantage of doing things you can't do in your new home country - whether it's eating certain foods (hello, crumpets, my old friends), visiting certain towns/cities, or going for a countryside dog walk. Stock up on all your faves so that when it's time to leave, you've had your fill until the next trip home!
Keep in touch with your friends from your new city. Like I said before, living abroad can feel like you've got two completely separate lives, but going home doesn't mean you have to abandon your newer relationships, which probably weren't all that easy to form in the first place (why does no-one teach you how to make friends as an adult lol?!) In my case, almost everyone leaves Madrid for at least part of August so it can be difficult to keep track of everyone's comings and goings, but it's always nice to check in with people!
However, try not to get stressed out about trying to see and speak to every person under the sun (you should've seen me running round London like a mad woman last weekend). You also need this time away from your new life to disconnect and relax. It can be easy to forget that you're on holiday when you're not sunning yourself on a beach with a mojito in hand, so be sure to leave enough time to yourself - read that book you've been meaning to read, binge that TV show everyone's been raving about, post on that blog you haven't written on in over a year *eye roll emoji*.
Hopefully this is a little insight into expat life and also can help anyone in the same boat. If you're struggling to know how to feel, wondering which home to call home, that's ok!
People on TV shows always ask - in their inner thought monologue voiceover, obv - whether it's possible to love two people at the same time. When it comes to people, I have no idea, but I can safely say the idea can without a doubt be applied to two places.
What is reverse culture shock, I hear you say? Why, I'm glad you asked.
"Reverse culture shock is the emotional and psychological distress suffered by some people when they return home after a number of years overseas."
Well, alrighty then. Sounds like a barrel of laughs.
Disclaimer, these types of things are, of course, suffered in degrees and by no means do I think I've experienced the worst of it.
Two weeks ago I returned to evergreen (*read: always raining*) England from sun-drenched Spain. I was feeling mixed emotions when I first arrived...conflicted by already missing Madrid...but being happy to be home...but also knowing it would be tough to leave when I go back...and at the same time panicking about who I am here now. Yes, some may call me melodramatic. I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS.
 |
| Home (Leicestershire, England) |
 |
| Home from home (Madrid, Spain) |
Building a life in another country takes a lot of time and effort: adapting to a different culture, making new friends, settling into a job etc. And so coming home for an extended period of time can be discombobulating, you're basically jumping from one life to a whole different one - one that has been on pause since the last time you were home.
In this way, you find yourself trying to slot a new version of yourself into your old life while the lives of everyone around you have carried on without you. Suddenly all your friends are in new jobs/getting engaged/having babies (ok not quite that last one yet - but come on, friends, someone take one for the team so the rest of us have a baby to play with for five minutes before handing them back to you when they start crying, yeah? Ok. Cool.)
What I'm trying to say is the inside of my mind looks like that meme of the confused woman surrounded by maths equations.
 |
| You and me both, sista. |
Making plans is a big help in overcoming that initial reverse culture shock feeling. I'm only here for a month so it's not like I'm looking to start a proper life here, but it is important to keep some sort of routine/purpose. I'm in the midst of seeing as many of my friends and family as I can. I think it's so important to invest in these relationships that I've grown up with, and not let them fall by the wayside just because I no longer live in the same country. Plus, getting out of the house and organising fun things to do will no doubt improve your mood!
Take advantage of doing things you can't do in your new home country - whether it's eating certain foods (hello, crumpets, my old friends), visiting certain towns/cities, or going for a countryside dog walk. Stock up on all your faves so that when it's time to leave, you've had your fill until the next trip home!
Keep in touch with your friends from your new city. Like I said before, living abroad can feel like you've got two completely separate lives, but going home doesn't mean you have to abandon your newer relationships, which probably weren't all that easy to form in the first place (why does no-one teach you how to make friends as an adult lol?!) In my case, almost everyone leaves Madrid for at least part of August so it can be difficult to keep track of everyone's comings and goings, but it's always nice to check in with people!
However, try not to get stressed out about trying to see and speak to every person under the sun (you should've seen me running round London like a mad woman last weekend). You also need this time away from your new life to disconnect and relax. It can be easy to forget that you're on holiday when you're not sunning yourself on a beach with a mojito in hand, so be sure to leave enough time to yourself - read that book you've been meaning to read, binge that TV show everyone's been raving about, post on that blog you haven't written on in over a year *eye roll emoji*.
 |
| You stop and smell those flowers, girl. |
Hopefully this is a little insight into expat life and also can help anyone in the same boat. If you're struggling to know how to feel, wondering which home to call home, that's ok!
People on TV shows always ask - in their inner thought monologue voiceover, obv - whether it's possible to love two people at the same time. When it comes to people, I have no idea, but I can safely say the idea can without a doubt be applied to two places.
Have a lovely week ahead, folks.
Holly x
|
Comments
Post a Comment